Running the Distance of Life

As I was running today, a very interesting thought dawned upon me.  I realized that life is not actually much different from distance running, but in fact incredibly similar to it. In order to achieve personal success and satisfaction it doesn't matter what others have to say; it only matters how much will make you happy. In life we begin running when were born, the beginning is easy, but eventually it gets harder. In order to achieve personal success there are certain guidelines that I believe one must follow. When you get tired, you must push yourself to keep going. When you are exhausted you must push yourself once again to keep going. When you feel like quitting, you must AGAIN force yourself to keep going. The time that we can stop to enjoy our success is not when we've been worn out, or beat up, but instead when we, ourselves, decide it is time to stop and that we are truly happy with how far we've come. Now, we can't say that breaks aren't allowed, because breaks are necessary to keep oneself going, but in life and in running, we should never stop just because we want to quit. Personal success varies from person to person, be it becoming a manager at giant, having four kids, or becoming president of the United states, but in the end of the day we all have goals and they are all of equal importance. Whether we get hurt, or dragged down at any moment by people or events, we need to quickly lift ourselves back up and keep going through life and do whatever we must to achieve our personal goals and success, if we ever want to be truly happy.

The Destructive Nature of Lust

Love and lust are two very different things, that in many situations, have an equal amount of power over us as human beings. The difference is that Love usually leads to happier ending than instantaneous lust does. Lust has always been known as one of the seven deadly sins. The reason these “sins” are so deadly is because they lead the person who is guilty of the sin to eventual self sabotage and destruction. Lust, is one of the strongest out the seven, especially in the male race. As men, we have a very large tendency of losing all common sense and fully placing our thought process in the hands of our gentialia. This gets us into trouble many times, and can sometimes ruin something that is placed right in front of us. The scary thing is that lust actually has the power to manipulate the human mind into changing it morality, even if for a quick second. The problem is that, during that quick second, everything can potentially be changed for the worst.

            Mistakes made out of lust have destroyed friendships, relationships, and even empires. The problem with lust is that it is an empty emotion that has no backing to it. It is all the sexual desire of love without any of the emotional validity that comes with love. This is why the outcome almost always ends badly, especially when lust is used to sway ones judgment about an already iffy situation.

            I know that this may sound a tad more on the angry or negative side, but that really isn’t my point. The only thing that can heal the wounds caused by lust, is time and shown remorse for ones actions. The reason that friendships, relationships, and empires, have been ruined because of one lustful action, is because there was no chance given for healing. Instead, like a cancer, lust spread among the hearts of all those it affected, and grew into anger, hatred, and resentment. What I believe we need to do when someone close to use makes a mistake out of lust is that we should show them how it really hurt us, but also give it time. Forgiveness is possible in all situations and it really is the healthiest option, but it can sometimes be the hardest option as well. When a friend, lover, or colleague seem to have betrayed you all because they momentarily decided to think with their sex organs and not their brain, we shouldn’t so quickly get rid of them. Instead, we need to give it time. Some relationships are just too important to toss away, which is why it would be dumb to leave something behind all because of one action.

            People make mistakes, and I understand that, but before forgiveness there must be a consequence. If the person who made the mistake is willing to own up to it, realize their mistake, and not expect forgiveness…. That is actually when they deserve forgiveness the most. Lust can be a dangerous thing because we give it so much power and so much credit, but when dangerous lustful situations present themselves, the best way to avoid disaster is to take this lust and overcome it with logic as quickly as possible. Forgive and forget. When there are two people who partake in a situation fueled by lust, there are two sides. One person is known to be the instigator, which is the person who initiates the problem, and then there is the victim. The victim is just really guilty of being a human being and falling prey to temptation. Can't we all say that we've experience this? I know I have. So the one that eventually can be forgiven is the one who was the victim, as long as they realize that they made a mistake and that next time they will be more aware of what is happening. The last thing I would ever want in my life is to lose a great bond with someone just because of one dumb action. Don’t you agree?

Rebounding to Score the Winning Shot

There is somewhat of a social taboo when it comes to the concept of a rebound relationship, but what really is a rebound? People tend to believe that rebounding is always negative and that it is ones attempt to try and recover from the relationship that they have just left. Something that seems to be forgotten is that a rebound, in basketball terms, is when there is a missed shot and the ball is once against retrieved in order to try and score again. If this also applies to a human beings love life, can't there be the possiblity that someone can score off their first rebound?
Alot of people tend to put a very negative connotation on the concept of a rebound, but what if the first shot was actually meant to be missed and the rebound was the shot that turned out to be the winning shot? I think that sometimes, people stay in certain relationships because of comfort and not actually because of love, and when someone they truly may care about comes around they leave their "comfortable" relationship and leap into what may be the most emotionally satisfying experience of their lives. If true love actually does exist, does it really matter in what sequence it may present itself? Just because we are with someone, it doesnt mean that our true love may not present them selves right when your relationships may have ended.
I think that there is no reason to fear a rebound when there are true feelings between the two individuals. The only reason that a rebound relationship can be an issue is when the person who is rebounding is still hung up on their ex, but when the rebounder feels that they are actually moving on to something better, then that is when the shot will win them the championship game.
My main point here here is that we should not be afraid of love when it presents itself right after we may have lost a relationship, but instead embrace it, because even though you may catch the ball and have rebounded it, you wont have much time before the opposing team keeps you from scoring once more and making the shot that you have always been meant to make.

The Dilemma of Distance

I personally have never been in a long distance relationship, so most of what I am about to express has to do more with observation of those who I have been around and talked to. To me, a long distance relationship during our younger years, many times may be an incredibly irresponsible choice. The reason I say irresponsible is because many of the couple that try to attempt such a thing, go into it thinking that it will be easy and that love will ALWAYS be enough. The harsh truth is that even with couples who are living in the same room as one another, love may not even be enough. The consideration that needs to be taken when a long distance relationship becomes an option is whether or not the sacrifices to come are worth the eventual triumph of love. Is the connection that you may share with that signifcant other actually worth the stress and hardships that may come with distance? In some instances the answer is yes, and it is in these exact instances I would say.... go for it!
BUT.... most of the time the answer is not actually yes. I'm all about learning and especially when it comes to love, people need to learn. Some even say that one cannot know the true meaning of love until they understand what it feels like to have lost love, but this is a whole other topic for a different discussion. What I am saying about distance is that couples that live near one another many times have issues with emotional boundaries. Sometimes these minor emotional boundaries may build up to the point where they can cause a relationship to crumble and end. When you add long distance into the equation, especially at a young age, you create not just one boundary, but a whole array of boundaries that a couple must overcome constantly in order to eventually reap the benefits of their love.
After speaking to several couples who have experienced the long distance thing, I have pretty much caught one thing from it...... sacrifice. Now that word doesn't just apply to one thing but instead to many things. With a long distance relationship at a young age, our hearts tend to be where our significant other resides. This is where the issue comes in, how can two hearts meet each other when they are both looking to be in different places? During the times that people are apart, they may even forget why they are putting themselves through the emotional roller coaster that they are riding for what may seem to be an infinite amount of time.
What also makes a long distance relationship hard is being able to find people outside of your relationship who both understand you and can also be there for you emotionally despite the fact that you may not always be able to reciprocate for them. What I have heard is that it is definitely hard to maintain friendships, especially in college, when someone in is involved in a long distance relationship. This is probably because its hard to get close to someone when their heart is in a different place. I know that some people who have tried this actually ended up losing their friends and even losing alot of their "fun" times that they would otherwise have experienced in college.
The last thing I want is to try and sound pessimistic, because I do really firmly believe that love conquers all when it has been properly prepared for a battle. But when love goes in completely untethered and is put under the heavy fire of conflict and emotion, alot of times it may not stand a chance and eventually be destroyed. What I am trying to say is that when a relationship is faced with the challenge of distance, couples must go into it understanding what is to come and that in order to eventually come back together to reconciliate their love, they will undergo a time of emotional uncertainty and incredible sacrifice.

Loving With Purpose

It almost seems that in our current generation, people are rushed when it comes to love. Whether it's finding love or making love or falling in love, people seem to have this fear of never experiencing the true meaning of love. I think that this fear of not finding love is what causes so many people to experience the heartbreak that they always try to avoid. As cheesy as it may sound, I really liked a quote that came from the movie Wedding Crashers: "Love is your souls recognition of its counterpart in another". I completely agree with this statement, but the weird part is that it doesnt seem like most people do. If love it truly something that is based on a spiritual level or even a deep personal level, why would it matter if weve been in 1 or 100 relationships before we find the "one"?
Especially among young men of our generation, love has become somewhat of a social taboo. With phrases like "whipped" and "wuss" and "player", it seems to desensitize the idea of love to the point where it is no longer a spiritual thing, but instead it becomes a surface emotion that can be disposed of easily. This is not what love is about. I personally can't say that I have ever been in love, but if I had to describe it I would say that it is every single one of the worlds emotions enmeshed into one.
Every emotion in this world has its root placed in love. Anger: A hateful love. Confusion: Questioned love. Happiness: realization and appreciation of love. All emotions that we experience on a daily basis are brought about because of love, but the real treasure is when you find another person who causes you to feel all these emotions, ALL AT ONCE. How many people can you really say make you happy, sad, confused, angry, aroused, excited, and depressed all at once? This answer should not be a list and highly doubt that it will really ever reach more than one.
This is exactly my point. We should not be dating people for the purpose of adding more prospective lovers to our list, but instead we should date people because we are really searching, and if they are not meant for you, then why drag it out? With the latest age for sex being somewhere in the mid to low teens, its almost ridiculous to even think that maybe even a fraction of a percent of those people who are doing it could possibly be in love, let alone KNOW what love is. I'm not saying not to have sex, or not to date, but instead I am saying that people should never forget the true meaning of love. And that love is not something to ever be taken for granted. People should never stop searching for love because just like a roller coaster or skydiving or anything else that's exciting and worth experiencing, love tops that list. Make sure to never forget what love is, and to never mistake or let yourself be convinced that the wrong one is who you want to share your love with. 

The Lingering Shadow of Lost Relationships

It seems quite odd how people seem to drift in and out of our lives, and yet we still have reason to move on. As much as we hope that those individuals that are currently a part of our hectic and racing existence, stay with us forever,  this may not be the case. I know that, personally, I have had several experiences where I have lost those who I thought were closest to me. It's almost confusing to think about. Looking back on all the cherished moments and the significant memories that you build with someone, when, in the present, they are no longer there to reminisce with you. You would think that because of all the loss that we experience, especially with our friends, it would keep people from really getting close to others as they grow older.... but in reality it seems more like this loss helps us to grow as people and teaches us to actually get closer to those that enter our lives in its later phase.
Its funny how, when looking back on a past relationship (friendships or romantic) we seem to weed out the bad memories, and forget why that relationship ever really ended. It just goes to show the selective nature of the human mind. How we can so easily forget and how easily we can be nostalgic of something that may even have been incredibly unhealthy and damaging to our lives. I guess it goes to show that humans are trained to be more hopeful than doubtful, at least that's how I see it. Kind of like pandoras box... even though the box was filled with every sorrow imaginable in the world, what was left at the bottom of that box was hope. A single trace of hope that could bury the worlds ill's in a fraction of a second.
Looking back on a relationship, we have that hope. The hope that covers up our memories that were what really ended that relationship in the first place. The hope that allows us to go out and search for something else, something new, and something good. When one door closes, another one is sure to open, and I am definitely a firm believer in that. So should we really dwell on the past relationships we've had and let that consume our present lives to the point that it holds us back from moving forward? Definitely not. Instead I think that these lost friendships and relationships were truly a blessing. As much as you may resent that person from your past, or as much as you may miss the good that they brought you, everything happens for a reason. They came into your life for a reason and left for just as much of a reason. We must use these experiences to grow and learn to love others as we do ourselves. What makes a person weak is when they dwell and don't let go of the past. The past should be used as a roadmap to guide you through the present to a better future. When times seem dark and when loneliness seems to cast a shadow over a persons existence, they must hope that very soon things will change and that they will once again find relationships and build bonds with significant individuals as they once did before.

A Lovely Investment

Every movie we watch seems to give the ideolgy that love is something that has a mind of its own; that it "finds" two individuals and spins them into a web of emotion from which they may never be able to escape, nor would they want to. The fairytale many people long for is where love captures them even before they really know the one that they supposedly "love". The whole idea of love at first sight is where you literally fall head first into a pool of feeling right at the first glance you take at this special individual. It is almost saying that there are supernatural entities involved, since logically: how could somebody love someone for who they are without actually KNOWING who they are?...
Personally, I pride myself as a romantic, but if I were to say that love at first sight isnt actually what people make it to be, would that make me cynical? I'm all for the belief that love is more than natural and that is an almost magical aspect of life, but I do think that there is some logic involoved, since afterall, as humans we are also somewhat logical (most of the time).
Couldn't it be that love at first sight is actually realized later on when a relationship develops and not literally at the first sighting of this special individual? What I am trying to say is this: When two people meet, they do exactly that, and just meet. There may be a rush of pheromones that causes them to have a strong attraction to one another and a very severe curiosity to learn more, but I dont think that just by seeing someone from a distance or even closeup, we could possibly know that we love them.
The catch to this is the key that we may not KNOW that we love them. I believe that we are destined to be with certain people and there is a certain plan that makes us meet and lose designated individuals throughout our lives; individuals who will somehow change us or effect us, be it positively or negatively. But when you do meet your "soulmate" or whatever you'd like to call it, the realization that you loved them at first sighting, probably wont happen until later on, when you really get to know that person.
What I am trying to say is that love is something beyond human control and perception, and I don't think that we will ever be able to truly understand it, but since most of the time, the human decision process does involve at least a bit of logic, the way love affects us should be the same way. Love at first sight is a realization later down the road, when two people actually have the time to develop feelings for one another and not just based of a lustful encounter or a rush of hormones that they may have during their first moment of eye contact. What this means it that when they do fall in love, they realize that they have actually loved each other since they first met.

Best Friends in Time or Experience?

     Friendship is a part of life that seems to help us be guided through the daily struggles and the common successes we may experience. As humans, we tend to befriend many people, leaving a very vague meaning to what really makes up "true friendship". There are those few that we encounter through our lives that seem to really have a certain impact on us. Now this could be negative or positive, but I definitely believe that in the end of the day there is a reason.
    Although many find it hard to believe that there is reason to everything we do in life, I can definitely say that through what I have personally experienced, friendships have always seemed to have a reason, and usually it is one that teaches a certain lesson. People we meet are like drifters in the ocean: One minute we see them, floating by on the surface, and at any moment may be gone and have drifted out of sight. Some of these drifters may challenge us with obstacles and cause us to have to think of different ways to handle a situation and learn from the experience. Others, could actually be there to help us through whatever needs to be done, and once the lesson has been learned, we may choose to toss them back to let them drift off or we may allow them to become part of the select few that remain with us forever.
   This is where the ideology of a best friend comes in. Like I mentioned before, we have MANY ecounters with people throughout our lives, and many of the people we meet are just there for a short period of time. There are others, a very select few others, who we have so much to learn from and so much to enjoy about that we tend to create a special bond with them. I have heard from people, movies, and books that "best friends" develop through a bond that needs to be fermented and grown throughout several years. I do not necesarily agree with this statement. It is true that friends who have been with you for a long time, may personally have experienced your history and may understand what you have been through because they saw you go throught it, but there are also those who went through life, unknowing of your existence, and yet still seemed to somehow experience and grow in an almost parallel if not intersecting manner with you. The fact of the matter is that people do change, and when we meet these people, who we have grow similarly to, it could be that we have met them right as we were meant to.
    The arguement of fate and destiny is a whole other topic that can be discussed for ages, but it is has a very appropriate application when it comes to friendships, especially best friendships. As one of my friends once said, "We always talk about soulmates in love but what about a 'friend soulmate'?". Personally, I think she is completely right here. We dont realize that the friendships we gain throughout our lives are equally as important as the the romantic relationships. I have had great friends, mediocre friends, and even horrible friends, but in the end of they day they all had an impact on the person I am today and what I have learned over the last 19 years of my existence. I believe that we are meant to meet certain people, and it could be at any point in our lives, but when we do meet them we will know that there is that special bond that can almost never be broken and is never really supposed to be broken. Just because we meet someone at the age of 20, doesn't alienate them from the last 20 years of our lives... it just gives them more to learn. When we meet our "friend soulmates", the case will most likely be that even though you may have had different experiences with different people, it is those experiences that made you so similar and brought you to each other in the end of the day.
     As people we tend to give way to much credit to the amount TIME we have known someone and instead neglect the amount of OURSELVES we have truly invested into our closest friends. It may be hard to believe, but until you have met these "friend soulmates", you may not actually understand how you could have so much faith in another individual even by just knowing them for a short period of time. Just like romantic love is meant to come to us and will come to us, true friendship is one that requires patience and anticipation, since, when it is found, it can be one of the most rewarding and helpful pleasures we experience throughout our lives.

The "Exceptional" Rule of Love

The game of love is one that has been played by men and women throughout history. There have been constant battles, figurative and literal, over simple misunderstandings of each sexes true emotion. I have experienced the madness on both ends, the utter lack of understanding that both men and women have of the opposite sex. We seem to base our love lives off of pure assumption, ESPECIALLY at the beginning stages when a relationship really first begins to blossom.

            The one thing that both sexes seem to very frequently do, is label their own experiences as the “exception” to the rule. As a human race, many of us are attracted to what we do not completely understand, while at the same time it scares us. This logic is one that can definitely be applied to the dating world, since even now I can say that it almost excites me to think, “Who will be my next girlfriend?” or the even bigger question, “who will be the one I fall in love with?”. Who will be that person? Do I know them? Could they be even closer than I imagine? The answer to all these questions is: I have NO idea. This is where it kills most people. The fact that they cannot plan a part of their life that is so incredibly crucial to their existence is something that is terrifying and at the same time exciting to many people.

            When I mentioned the “exception”, what I meant was the typical romantic comedy scenario we have been programmed to love. Even men, as much as we refuse to admit it, do look up to movies like “Titanic” or even “No Strings Attached”. Where we go wrong in our interpretation of such films is that we take it as being the rule, where in real life it is actually the exception.

            The one thing that the characters in the romantic comedies, and novels, and stories all seem to have in common, is that they are completely and utterly oblivious to the existence of this “game”. They are the ones who live hardest by the rules, and therefore are the first ones to break them. Just because we want to love, doesn’t mean that it will always magically come find us. As people, what we need to learn is that love is in fact all around us, but because of this “game” that was created along with the existence of mankind, we cannot always sit and wonder why we aren’t a part of that story that is truly the exception to the rule. In the end of day the ones who live strongest by the rule, are the ones who more easily become the exception.

Reputations. A shallow depth of lies

      Why is it that even though we know about the existence of reputations, we still tend to believe any rumor that seems to start one? There is a very distinct form of power that lies in words. As much as mind control may just be a simple superpower in any average comic book, it seems to manifest itself in a realistic form. This form is known as manipulation.
      Manipulative people have the power to sway peoples opinions and thought processes just by twisting their words in just the right ways. It is almost taking away the free will of other individuals, which in turn can alter their whole belief system. This is usually the seed from which a reputation, especially a false one, seems to blossom. The more manipulative the creator of the lie, the more easily contagious that lie becomes. The reason that the rumor to start the reputation spreads like wild fire is because the creator not only tells a lie about another person, but actually makes others believe the lie.
      I have had many encounters with incredibly manipulative people, and still, for as many times as I have caught them in the act, I have seemed to fall right into one of their traps. I have watched friends, family, and even strangers, easily become victims of this complex manipulation scheme, and I have even been the puppet master in several of these instances. Its almost a political scandal, in the sense that whatever you say must always be monitored, because if you have one slip up when instilling a lie into someones beliefs, could cause them to see right through your shallow facade.
     Not only are rumors easily spread, but they are even found enjoyable for many people. With all the tabloids that we have available to the public, celebrity reputations are monitored and altered day and night, and just by the stroke of a single pen. The reason that a reputation is a "shallow depth of lies" is because as much as we might know that they exist, and know that they are actually completely false subjective ideas, we still as a human race seem to fall into this spiderweb of lies and deceiving facts.

Hopeful doubtfulness

I have come across a great many pessimists in my life. They seem to have an answer to EVERYTHING, but the catch is that it's always negative. On the surface they seem to be people who are incredibly bothered and do not have hope for anything good. The thought that just came into my mind is... what if they are actually more hopeful than the rest of us?
They doubt almost everything that happens, but the question is: why? The answer that I could most clearly think of is that because they are always hoping that they are wrong. It goes down to the idea that if you hope for the worst, you will never be disappointed. In the end of the day it's much harder to actually HOPE for the WORST since the phrase is a complete oxymoron in and of itself. How much can one really hope that things end up badly? Since when does hope have such a negative connotation? This is why I think that those of you who have a "pessimistic" view on life, just need to realize your capability of hoping. Instead use hope to your advantage and to grow rather than to hold yourself back from exploring possibilities that you never knew existed. The world is a place for us to grow as human beings, so if we are people who can hope but hope for the worst, aren't we just holding ourselves back rather than causing any real change in the world? Doesn't hoping for the worst in the ordeals of others, make that same individual hope for a lack of progress in their own lives?

Why does a relationship fail?

The reason that any relationship, be it a friendship or a romantic one, fails is because we stop loving the other person for who they are and start hating them for who they ARE NOT.

Why does sex seem to have such a huge effect on emotional attachment?

Sex is when two people are at the closest physical proximity possible. A man is actually inserting a part of himself into a woman, causing them to be as close to one individual as they can be. The issue here is that when people have sex they share not just their physical selves but also a private side of their emotional beings. An orgasm is an overload of emotion, and when brought on by another person, it is that “other person” who gets to experience what no one else does. This is where the attachment comes in. When people see each other orgasm, they share an emotional moment, an almost supernatural moment of ecstasy. When you share something so secret and sacred with an individual it’s hard to not find yourself holding onto that connection. When that connection, or that bond between the two of you, is planted into your mind, it almost always sprouts into a tree of emotional attachment or obsession.

Could love just be an idea manifested in another individual?

Could it be that the reason we don’t get over people we like even when we know they aren’t right for us, be that they are actually just one of our ideas manifested into a human body. Usually we can just push an idea away in our own head and never have to think about it again since we created it, but in this case were talking about a real human being. They become an idea that stays in front of your face until the day they die, which is why it’s so much harder to get rid of them. We don’t just have to get rid of the idea, but instead learn to cope with the existence of that idea.

            And the reason a rebound is what it is, could be because we are just using another medium to test out that original idea. It never works out because what a rebound really is, is a coping mechanism on our part to try and prove that the problem was the idea that we had created and not the original person that we had assigned that idea to.