The Dilemma of Distance

I personally have never been in a long distance relationship, so most of what I am about to express has to do more with observation of those who I have been around and talked to. To me, a long distance relationship during our younger years, many times may be an incredibly irresponsible choice. The reason I say irresponsible is because many of the couple that try to attempt such a thing, go into it thinking that it will be easy and that love will ALWAYS be enough. The harsh truth is that even with couples who are living in the same room as one another, love may not even be enough. The consideration that needs to be taken when a long distance relationship becomes an option is whether or not the sacrifices to come are worth the eventual triumph of love. Is the connection that you may share with that signifcant other actually worth the stress and hardships that may come with distance? In some instances the answer is yes, and it is in these exact instances I would say.... go for it!
BUT.... most of the time the answer is not actually yes. I'm all about learning and especially when it comes to love, people need to learn. Some even say that one cannot know the true meaning of love until they understand what it feels like to have lost love, but this is a whole other topic for a different discussion. What I am saying about distance is that couples that live near one another many times have issues with emotional boundaries. Sometimes these minor emotional boundaries may build up to the point where they can cause a relationship to crumble and end. When you add long distance into the equation, especially at a young age, you create not just one boundary, but a whole array of boundaries that a couple must overcome constantly in order to eventually reap the benefits of their love.
After speaking to several couples who have experienced the long distance thing, I have pretty much caught one thing from it...... sacrifice. Now that word doesn't just apply to one thing but instead to many things. With a long distance relationship at a young age, our hearts tend to be where our significant other resides. This is where the issue comes in, how can two hearts meet each other when they are both looking to be in different places? During the times that people are apart, they may even forget why they are putting themselves through the emotional roller coaster that they are riding for what may seem to be an infinite amount of time.
What also makes a long distance relationship hard is being able to find people outside of your relationship who both understand you and can also be there for you emotionally despite the fact that you may not always be able to reciprocate for them. What I have heard is that it is definitely hard to maintain friendships, especially in college, when someone in is involved in a long distance relationship. This is probably because its hard to get close to someone when their heart is in a different place. I know that some people who have tried this actually ended up losing their friends and even losing alot of their "fun" times that they would otherwise have experienced in college.
The last thing I want is to try and sound pessimistic, because I do really firmly believe that love conquers all when it has been properly prepared for a battle. But when love goes in completely untethered and is put under the heavy fire of conflict and emotion, alot of times it may not stand a chance and eventually be destroyed. What I am trying to say is that when a relationship is faced with the challenge of distance, couples must go into it understanding what is to come and that in order to eventually come back together to reconciliate their love, they will undergo a time of emotional uncertainty and incredible sacrifice.

Loving With Purpose

It almost seems that in our current generation, people are rushed when it comes to love. Whether it's finding love or making love or falling in love, people seem to have this fear of never experiencing the true meaning of love. I think that this fear of not finding love is what causes so many people to experience the heartbreak that they always try to avoid. As cheesy as it may sound, I really liked a quote that came from the movie Wedding Crashers: "Love is your souls recognition of its counterpart in another". I completely agree with this statement, but the weird part is that it doesnt seem like most people do. If love it truly something that is based on a spiritual level or even a deep personal level, why would it matter if weve been in 1 or 100 relationships before we find the "one"?
Especially among young men of our generation, love has become somewhat of a social taboo. With phrases like "whipped" and "wuss" and "player", it seems to desensitize the idea of love to the point where it is no longer a spiritual thing, but instead it becomes a surface emotion that can be disposed of easily. This is not what love is about. I personally can't say that I have ever been in love, but if I had to describe it I would say that it is every single one of the worlds emotions enmeshed into one.
Every emotion in this world has its root placed in love. Anger: A hateful love. Confusion: Questioned love. Happiness: realization and appreciation of love. All emotions that we experience on a daily basis are brought about because of love, but the real treasure is when you find another person who causes you to feel all these emotions, ALL AT ONCE. How many people can you really say make you happy, sad, confused, angry, aroused, excited, and depressed all at once? This answer should not be a list and highly doubt that it will really ever reach more than one.
This is exactly my point. We should not be dating people for the purpose of adding more prospective lovers to our list, but instead we should date people because we are really searching, and if they are not meant for you, then why drag it out? With the latest age for sex being somewhere in the mid to low teens, its almost ridiculous to even think that maybe even a fraction of a percent of those people who are doing it could possibly be in love, let alone KNOW what love is. I'm not saying not to have sex, or not to date, but instead I am saying that people should never forget the true meaning of love. And that love is not something to ever be taken for granted. People should never stop searching for love because just like a roller coaster or skydiving or anything else that's exciting and worth experiencing, love tops that list. Make sure to never forget what love is, and to never mistake or let yourself be convinced that the wrong one is who you want to share your love with. 

The Lingering Shadow of Lost Relationships

It seems quite odd how people seem to drift in and out of our lives, and yet we still have reason to move on. As much as we hope that those individuals that are currently a part of our hectic and racing existence, stay with us forever,  this may not be the case. I know that, personally, I have had several experiences where I have lost those who I thought were closest to me. It's almost confusing to think about. Looking back on all the cherished moments and the significant memories that you build with someone, when, in the present, they are no longer there to reminisce with you. You would think that because of all the loss that we experience, especially with our friends, it would keep people from really getting close to others as they grow older.... but in reality it seems more like this loss helps us to grow as people and teaches us to actually get closer to those that enter our lives in its later phase.
Its funny how, when looking back on a past relationship (friendships or romantic) we seem to weed out the bad memories, and forget why that relationship ever really ended. It just goes to show the selective nature of the human mind. How we can so easily forget and how easily we can be nostalgic of something that may even have been incredibly unhealthy and damaging to our lives. I guess it goes to show that humans are trained to be more hopeful than doubtful, at least that's how I see it. Kind of like pandoras box... even though the box was filled with every sorrow imaginable in the world, what was left at the bottom of that box was hope. A single trace of hope that could bury the worlds ill's in a fraction of a second.
Looking back on a relationship, we have that hope. The hope that covers up our memories that were what really ended that relationship in the first place. The hope that allows us to go out and search for something else, something new, and something good. When one door closes, another one is sure to open, and I am definitely a firm believer in that. So should we really dwell on the past relationships we've had and let that consume our present lives to the point that it holds us back from moving forward? Definitely not. Instead I think that these lost friendships and relationships were truly a blessing. As much as you may resent that person from your past, or as much as you may miss the good that they brought you, everything happens for a reason. They came into your life for a reason and left for just as much of a reason. We must use these experiences to grow and learn to love others as we do ourselves. What makes a person weak is when they dwell and don't let go of the past. The past should be used as a roadmap to guide you through the present to a better future. When times seem dark and when loneliness seems to cast a shadow over a persons existence, they must hope that very soon things will change and that they will once again find relationships and build bonds with significant individuals as they once did before.